My God, it’s already December! …and 2 weeks since I posted something. Awful. Though can you blame me for being swept up by the Thanksgiving madness? As I mentioned in Holiday Challenge these events are very stressful for me and the hardest part is being “on” or “present”. In other words not get caught up with what is going on inside my head. Seriously it’s a thing.
My loud mind has a way of calling me away from the present moment. Often, my own thoughts are too enticing to ignore. I know that being present is important. But much of the time, I just can’t help but enter the introvert zone.
In the past this led to people calling me “spacey”. Nowadays, I’ve gotten better at staying present during one-on-one interactions and in small groups. But I have to admit that in larger groups, I often zone out as others converse. Like many introverts, I find group conversations cumbersome and hard to follow. The rich inner landscapes of my own mind easily entice me away from such interactions.
Michaela Chung, Introvert Spring
Being a creative introvert, I find my mind is especially loud. I have many physical bruises from zoning out and bumping into things. I stumble over my words all the time too. Maybe it’s the reason I can’t listen to music while reading–I just know those lyrics will send me off in a different tangent completely. Add some social anxiety and the introvert zone is especially hard to ignore because during a tense inescapable social situation, my inner world provides a safe and comforting escape.
I can’t exactly tell you what I daydream about since it depends on the situation. Usually it’s just nonsense and memories. Other times, sensational montages like a weird indie film. I sometimes wish someone could see inside of my head to experience those things with me and understand. Maybe it will exist in the future?
Anyway, I’m slowly accepting that it’s not healthy to exist solely in your head. There must be a healthy balance between your thoughts and living. As cheesy (and overly stated) as it sounds, you have only one life to live, so I’m trying to get better at controlling the temptation to just check out.
Sometimes people use thought to not participate in life.
The Perks of Being a Wallflower